Art of Explosion
by Forever Rahhel
Summary: With his explosive art Deidara was one of the strongest members of the Akatsuki.What if our favorite blond took an interest to art? NaruxFemHaku No real Team 7 bashing even though I like to make fun of the other chracters by using Naruto as my medium.
1. Narutosempai knows best

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto because Kakashi claims he sold it to an old woman who

**Disclaimer****: Don't own Naruto, because Kakashi claims he sold it to an old woman, who **

**had problems crossing the street.**

With his explosive art Deidara was one of the strongest members of the Akatsuki.

What if our favorite blond took an interest to art? NaruxFemHaku

The paragraphs could be messed up because of this website.

**Warning this story hasn't seen a beta, it may cause your eyes to bleed because of grammar errors and plot holes.**** Any volunteers are appreciated. For contact look at my profile.**

_**Art is explosion**_

**Chapter one: Naruto-sempai knows best**

"Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha, you will never get me! My art is unbeatable! "

The voice echoed through the city of Konohagakure. Most of the villagers knew that only one person could be responsible for the… new style of the Hokage Mountain.

"NARUTO! GET BACK HERE! SCHOOL HASN'T FINISHED YET!"

This 'screamer' as Naruto likes to call him is his sensei, Umino Iruka. He is a teacher in the ninja academy of Konoha.

"Oi, Iruka no one cares about that. Look what he did to the Hokage Monument."

This voice belongs to Nara Shikato the head of the Nara clan. _Sigh… I'm a Jounin so why did I agree to this D-rank mission?_ _Troublesome. I just hide myself and let Iruka do the work. It's not like anyone is going to find out, right?_

* * *

_Hehehe, this is my greatest work so far. The Monument always was too dull for my taste._

_I had to do some research to get the colors right but it totally paid off. Who would have thought that the Yondaime Hokage had white skin? Well, I certainly did not._

_I better go back to school and pretend like nothing happened at all. Since I got that little booklet from the Hokage himself I was never again caught red handed doing these so called pRaNkS. PHILISTINES I tell you. How dare they to call my pieces PRANKS! Normally they would just erase all evidence of my wonderful art, but not this time. I used a new creation of mine. This paint is permanent and has my very own chakra in it. Only I can remove it._

_Kukukukuku, I have to thank__ Iruka-sensei for teaching me the __**Henge no Jutsu**__. Even though they know I hide behind this Henge they can't do anything. They would have to dispel it to even have reason to charge me. I left a Bunshin at school to have an alibi._

_So far I purposely failed on the graduating exam. They always ask for the Bunshin no Jutsu._

_I immediately realized the possibilities of this Jutsu when I was introduced to it._

_Failing on the exam with this Jutsu was perfect. The people would never suspect me using it to get out of class because I was always unable to use it._

_This is the reason why I was never caught. You should think that my cover would be blown up as soon as a teacher would ask my Bunshin a question but they never did._

_I don't know why people seemed to loath and avoid me but I guess it was because I worshiped Sasori-danna and Deidara-danna. After all those two were S-class Missing-Nin._

_I don't know why they disappeared but I suspect people were jealous of their art like people are jealous of me for being so artistic. Is this the reason why they hate me?_

* * *

**One day later (Day of the Genin exam)**

"Today is the day of the Genin exam so get ready as soon as you are called into the room.

That means you Naruto!"

_My my. Is he still pissed that he didn't catch again? Like I care. We may be friends outside the classroom but that doesn't mean I value his opinion during class. Mah, it's going to take a while till I will be called into the examination room. What people don't know I also worship another artist… on the other hand he is not really an artist he is an author, the author of the infamous Icha Icha paradise! I can't say it enough but god bless the Henge no Jutsu____Without the Uchiha clan alive____no one can see through it. Okay, the Hyuugas can but they aren't the police force and to NoBlE to do the job. Whatever that means. _

_The book written by one of the legendary Sannin helps my imagination. I like to draw women who are described in the novel. Their full lips, perky breast and well formed curves are the dream of every man and artist._

_I wonder how he__ can be so detailed. Does he peek on women in the hot springs? I wouldn't judge him for it as long as it's done in the name of art. _

"Oi, Dobe it's your turn." Came the voice of Uchiha Sasuke the sole heir of the Uchiha fortune.

"Yeah yeah, stop pmsing would ya'?"

_Yep, that's how we always talked with each other.__ Our friendship started after the Uchiha Massacre. I was 9 while he was 6. It was indeed a weird friendship, somehow I think no one knows we are actually friends, but rivals. Shouldn't ninja students be able to look underneath the underneath? _

"Shut up Naruto-sempai. Stop bothering Sasuke-kun!" A pink haired girl screamed.

_Oh, this is Haruno Sakura. Number one self proclaimed Sasuke fan girl. __She is a real pain in the ass. She has book smarts, but doesn't seem to be serious about being a ninja. Kinda like me, but I just do Hokage-jisan a favor in attending ninja school, while she seems to do it in order to gain Sasuke's attention. Earlier this year she tried to hit me, but after I used a double layered Genjutsu on her, she never tried it again._

**Flashback**

"N-A-R-U-T-O! Just because you are older doesn't mean you get away with insulting Sasuke-kun."

She was trying to punch him, but it was easily dodged by Naruto. Next he sprung back and started to talk.

"My my, seems like my poor little kohai is under a Genjutsu. I would be a crappy Sempai, if I

wouldn't dispel would I? **KAI**"

Smoke erupted from Sakura. After it disappeared it revealed a Sakura in undergarments.

A shrill shriek erupted from her which made the Inuzuka of the class cower in pain. His poor dog was already unconscious.

"**KAI!" **Naruto just couldn't stand the banshee like scream anymore and decided to end this torture. Sakura once again found herself with all her clothes.

"And this is how a double layered Genjutsu works. Remember my Kohai. Don't mess around

with your elders"

Sakura gritted her teeth and said: "Yes…Sempai."

From then on no one tried to hit Naruto even once. He was respectfully called Naruto-sempai by the whole class, but Sasuke. Only occasionally the fan girls shouted at him, but not too bad after all they liked to be clothed in class.

No one wondered why Sasuke can get away with insulting him, because he was the number one student most of the classmates figured.

**Flashback end**

* * *

"Ah, if it isn't my favorite Kohai. How are your clothes? "

Twitch. A vein popped up on her remarkable large forehead.

_Good. Looks like she still remembers. I guess behind her forehead__ she seems to have some brains. Mah, I guess I should go into the room now. When I entered the room I saw both Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei sitting on a large desk with Konoha forehead protectors placed on it._

"Naruto, this is the last chance for you to become a ninja of Konoha. You have to pass now or you will never become a ninja. Even the Densetsu no Dobe passed on his 4th try."

"Densetsu no Dobe? Never heard of those." I said to them.

"Well, they aren't exactly the pride of Konoha so it's no surprise you never heard of them. We call Yakushi Kabuto and his team the Densetsu no Dobe because they needed 4 tries to pass the Genin test. Now they are trying to become Chunin like me and Iruka. Even after their 6th try they still are Genin. "

_Wow, according to Mizuki this guys must suck ass or they are like me not interested in this whole Ninja thing. Come to think of it all three Deidara-danna, Sasori-danna and Jiraiya-danna are ninja. Maybe I should give it a try. On the other hand I couldn't use my Bunshin trick anymore. Hmmm, what did Deidara-danna's booklet say? "As a ninja you can achieve new highs of art, hmm." This is a quote of "Art of Explosion" written by Deidara-danna himself but "The way of the puppeteer" by Sasori-danna says I should conceal myself. I guess from here on I will follow my own"way of the artist". Ninja have their nindo so why shouldn't artist have something like that? Well, it's settled I will follow in their footsteps… and surpass them._

"Naruto, to pass the test you have to make a Bunshin"

_You would thing to pass the Genin test you would have to show useful Jutsu. Haha but not in Konoha! Who need Kawarami if you can do a Bunshin! I've never heard of Jounin who still uses the Bunshin anymore not even Genjutsu master do that. Well, let's get this over with._

"**Bunshin no Jutsu!"**

Two additional Naruto appear in a poof. Mizuki seemed really surprised. Iruka was just glad he did. Naruto got his Forehead protector from the desk at made his exit.

**In front of the academy **

_I was on the swing while my other classmates were getting congratulated by their parents. Some gave me evil glances and others seemed to mutter something about me. Mizuki-sensei is coming to me. I wonder what he wants. Eh, stealing the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing? Does he think I'm stupid? Wait a sec sealing requires drawing them I could bind that into my art. __Kukukukuku, he is obviously after the scroll himself and tries to frame me in case he gets caught. Good, I will copy the stuff in the scroll and use his plan against himself._

"Very well Mizuki-sensei, if this will help my art then I will do it."

Naruto is determined to get the scroll, but how to trick the Hokage into leaving his office? Naruto wouldn't be an artist if he didn't know how to use his art against other people.

"**Kinjutsu: Oiroke no Jutsu!"**

Later people said that this certain Jutsu was declared a forbidden Jutsu because it could knock out the Hokage himself. Official spokesmen denied this but a slip up by one of them revealed that there seems to be a brother technique.

_I hid myself in the woods to have time to copy my new techniques which soon will be part of my art. Let's see…eh? What the hell?! Those are regular Ninjutsu and not Fuuinjutsu. Damn, I guess that won't help my art but…hey some of them look interesting. A ritual that can help me in the art of clay. Deidara-danna is a master of clay. Hmmm, I write the other Jutsus down and then proceed with the ritual. Oh, already done? Including the ritual there are only five Jutsu in that big scroll. Well, I guess that's only volume one of the Forbidden Jutsu._

Naruto started to draw a circle around himself with his blood. Those symbols are really awkward. A pentagram is understandable but why a swastika? Well, technically it was a peace sign.

"Okay, Hebi, Tori, Tora, Saru, Tatsu, Usagi. **Hijutsu: Kure- Taitoku!**"

(Secret technique: Clay Mastery)?

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_My hands they burn. Did I make a mistake? What the hell! The pain it's consuming me…_

* * *

**Half an hour later at the same spot**

"NARUTO. Oh, he's unconscious. Never mind."

"Hehehe, thanks for leading me to him Iruka-san."

_What the hell. I was starting to wake up and then I start to hear Mizuki-sensei and Iruka-sensei talk. What does he mean with Kyuubi not deserving to be a ninja? Isn't he dead?_

_**You wish you linnet.**_

_Huh? I hear a voice. A voice in my head. Is that an after effect of the ritual? _

_**Looks like you aren't as dumb as people think you are. That is good. Maybe you aren't as undeserving to be my host as I thought.**_

_I see now. People avoiding me, the seal on my belly which always shows up when I gather chakra, my nearly infinite stamina__. The Yondaime Orochimaru sealed you inside me. They hate me, because they hate you._

_**Muhahaha, you figured it out, to the last bit. With your new ability you should be able to live up to my name. I will live through you.**_

_Why should I trust you? For all I know you could trick me? After all who does trust a fox in the coop? _

_**I can't do much thanks to the seal. I'll only come back if you die a natural death so it's in my own interest that you survive. Killing yourself won't work either because of my regenerative abilities. You are pretty hard to kill.**_

I'll believe you… for now. What do you mean with abilities?

**Have you forgotten the ritual? You have now two mouths in your hand. They can be used to form clay sculptures. It is up to your imagination what to do with this ability**

Hmm, art is explosion. I think there was a hidden meaning in Deidara-danna's title.

With explosive notes and some clay I have forgotten in my jacket pocket I should be able to start.

**Good you will wake up soon. Mizuki will be waiting for you so you better have a plan how to defeat him.**

* * *

_I woke up as both of my teachers finished their talk. When Mizuki was about to attack my unconscious body he and Iruka-sensei noticed that I vanished. Shunshin no Jutsu really comes in handy if you want to disappear without a trace. _

_I went into hiding to test my new mouths. Other people would freak out if they would wake up with two mouths in their hand but I was warned by the Kyuubi so it didn't shock me that much. I took out the forgotten clack out of my inner pockets of my orange jacket. For a ninja it's not the perfect color but artists are eccentric and that's how I justify it. I was happy to notice that I didn't taste the clay my mouth in the hand was chewing._

_**Bah, tastes weird. Next time you better use fresh clay with spices mixed into it, mortal.**_

Sweatdrop It's hard to surprise Naruto but that was totally unexpected. He finished to mold the clay and out came a little mockingbird.

_W__ell then. Let's start. Hmmm, Iruka isn't that fit anymore as it seems. He got hit by a giant shuriken on his back. Without a doubt Mizuki will underestimate my little clay bird. I show him art comes with a bang._

"MIZUKI! I've got something for you." Naruto showed him the bird… the clay one. It started to fly at a slow pace.

"Hah! What's with that tiny bird? You think that something like that will defeat me. Don't make me laugh you fox-"

He was interrupted when the bird flew lightning fast and bore itself into Mizuki's chest.

"This is the end for you SeNsEi. **Kurejutsu: Mocking Bird version 1 KAI**!" (Clayjutsu) right?

Naruto put his hand into the ram seal and let the bird explode. The explosion wasn't that great since he used a toned down version of the normal explosive tags. The result of this was a deep wound in Mizuki's chest which wasn't deadly but the pain was enough to render him unconscious.

"Iruka- sensei, I think you and Mizuki should go to the hospital I will alarm the Hokage of what happened here, okay?"

Iruka could only nod. Having a giant shuriken up your…eh back tends to make a guy less talkative.

* * *

**The next day in the Academy**

_Somehow I woke up earlier than I thought so I took a look into my copied version of the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu was the evolution of the Bunshin no Jutsu. Different from the Bunshin no Jutsu it had an actual body and could do everything the original could do which means I still can do my art without getting caught. For a Jounin level technique it is weird that the only requirement is a cross seal and a lot of chakra. Makes me wonder why it's forbidden…oh now I see. The memory transfer: If a Bunshin is dispels the creator gains the knowledge of the Bunshin. Kinda careless to write down the effect which makes it such a dangerous technique. For people like me who have nearly infinite chakra this would accelerate my ability to become stronger. Of course I wouldn't make 1000 Kage Bunshin and then dispel them. The memory drawback __would kill me regenerative abilities or not. _

_It took me just half an hour to complete the task. I leave now for school and left a chakra enforced Bunshin behind so it can go on learning the other 3 techniques. On the way I made some weird kid who looked like an ape. Must be Ji-san's grandson or something. Why is he being followed by a guy in black outfit? Is that a child molester? Good that some policemen were near by. Ah, it's always good to do a good deed once a day._

_When I came into class I went to my seat beside Sasuke. There is no reason for me sitting beside him except to piss of his fan girls also I blackmailed him into buying me lunch once in a while or I let another of them sit beside him. It's unnecessary to say that he didn't resist my offer. After all what are friends for if they don't blackmail you once in a while? I'm eager to end the whole introduction so I can buy some new clay and gunpowder to experiment with my new ability. _

_Ah, there comes Iruka… what the… the Shuriken is still stuck on his back!_

"Sensei, there is a giant shuriken sticking out of your back." The comment came from none other but Sakura Haruno. She is a curious one.

Oh yeah? I haven't noticed." Came the deadpanned reply from Iruka.

"Seriously don't you think I know that? The hospital was closed due to staff shortage. It looks like as if Konoha doesn't have that many medics, because the Kunoichi aren't as well taught as they were during Tsunade's time as an active ninja."

"Why do the Kunoichi's have better chakra control anyway?"

_Even though Sasuke is the number one rookie he doesn't know everything. Iruka gave the short "they have less chakra but more control response" like every teacher does. Most men think control isn't important and look down to the Kunoichis, but with their control they can produce as much Bunshin as their male counter part, even though he has more chakra he produces the same amount as the female. Sasuke has that smug smile on his face. Here comes his superiority complex at its fullest. __Looks like he is one of those kind of men._

_In any case Iruka-sensei started to read out the team placement. Damn I'm in team 7 with Sakura and Sasuke. Not that I dislike him but he is a bit too bitchy for my taste. I hope I can rush through the Chunin exam or I have to strange both of them. At least I can keep both at bay. I'm a bit uncertain about this Kakashi person. He is legendary for his lateness. Mah, I take a nap. The Bunshin should dispel in about 3 hours. I hope those new techniques will be as useful as Kage Bunshin._

…_snor…_

**Classroom 3 hours later**

"WAH!"

_I just woke up as soon as I felt the memory drawback of the Kage Bunshin. Hmm, one technique is a complementary technique to any kind of physical Bunshin. This Jutsu was invented by the Uchiha prodigy Uchiha Itachi before he went missing. Heh, how funny the one seal that is required to activate the Jutsu is called the weasel. The next Jutsu is created by the Yondaime Hokage Orochimaru himself. He was known as a Jutsu freak. This one is useful to poison and trap the opponent. The next one… I won't bother to think about using that what kind of psychopath invents such a technique? No wonder that think is forbidden._

During Naruto's ramblings a figure enters the room. He is taller than the average ninja and his face is hid behind a mask, his left eye is hidden beneath his forehead protector. Except for that he looks like the average Jounin/Chunin to anyone with his vest and black pants.

"My first impression of you is…HEY are you even listening to me?!"

Fact is that Naruto is still in mid of his ramblings, Sakura tries to talk with Sasuke and Sasuke himself thinks about changing the order of people he wants to kill now after the long wait and the company he had during that time.

"Damn you guys! I'm going on the roof. If you want to become ninja you better come up

there within 5 minutes."

Kakashi poofed away so did Naruto and the other two just ran upstairs. They didn't notice Naruto using Shunshin.

On the roof Kakashi explained how they had to introduce themselves. Before Sakura could ask Naruto started already.

"It's me Uzumaki Naruto. My likes Icha Icha Paradise. My dislikes…My hobbies art. My

dream for the future is to become the greatest artist!"

Kakashi's eye made an U smile. Sakura wondered what Icha Icha Paradise is. Sasuke wondered if this is the foundation of Itachi's strength after all he saw him read those books quite a lot.

"Well, then your up next Mr. dark and broody."

Sasuke gave his soon to be teacher a scowl. How dare he mocking him like that?!

"Uchiha Sasuke, I don't have many likes but many dislikes. My hobby is becoming stronger. My dream or rather ambition is to kill a person resurrect my clan. "

"Shouldn't that be the other way around? If both of you bit into the dust then there won't be a clan to resurrect."

Sasuke began to sweat, when Naruto said that. It's true maybe he should sort out his priorities.

"I'll think about it."

"Wow, and I thought you were gay. If the report is true I received then you haven't even dated anyone even though you have a huge fan club."

_Lol, I like that teacher. Maybe this team isn't going to be a total failure. Oh, that look on Sasuke's face is priceless. I think I will capture that moment of his face in a drawing or even better a sculpture. Now with those hands it should be a piece of cake…ouch. My ears damn Sakura just squealed loudly during her introduction. I guess I will have to deal with one nuisance after all. Hmm, seems like doing a Bunshin isn't the only requirement to become a Genin. Looks like the educational system isn't a total failure. __At least we can finally go. It's already late. I wonder where all that time went. Did I sleep that long? No matter I will show him my art but first to buy some clay._

_**Mortal, you shouldn't only buy clay but also poison and don't forget the spices. I was serious about that.**_

_Oh, you again. Why should I buy poisons? I can't use them with my clay. I would poisons myself. Even though I'm a fan of Sasori-danna I would only buy poisons if I had a puppet which I don't. You can't get them here. They are only available in Sunagakure. _

_**Don't worry about**__** poisoning yourself. If you haven't noticed yet the poison would only affect me since the mouths are connected to my chakra. I'm a being made of chakra which means I can't be poisoned.**_

_Oh that is really good to know. I also got an idea about the puppet problem. Kakashi won't know what hit him._

_**Muhahaha, I like the way you think. It's like a true fox.**_

The day ended fast after a lot of clay and poisons were bought. The TV news brought an elaborate reportage about a private teacher named Ebisu who was suspected to be a child molester. People were shocked that the grandson was around such a person. The situation was cleared by the Hokage himself. People learnt that looks can be really deceiving.

* * *

**Next day on Training field ****7 at 9 o' clock**

Sakura and Sasuke were already there for three hours. Both of them were angry at there other 2 teammates for being late. When Kakashi and Naruto finally arrived they were greeted by the combined scream of their fellow ninjas.

"You're late!"

If it wouldn't have been for Sasuke's deeper voice the scream would have been unbearable.

"Sorry, I got lost on the road of life."

_I guess I should follow the example of my teacher. _"Eh, I had to put out a fire on the Hokage tower."

Once again both of them shouted together: "LIARS!"

_Puh, are those two married or something? They work in sync.__ Luckily Kakashi-sensei defused the situation when he started to explain the test. It was simple catch a bell and become Genin. Problem was there were only two bells but three persons. It was obvious there was a catch. All Genin teams were made out of four men cells with three Genin and one Jounin. Both of my teammates seemed to have fallen for Kakashi's trick. The situation would tear the team apart. For me it just meant I had to use the last hour to pass the test with a bit of teamwork. The first two hours are for me to have fun and show them my art._

_All of disappeared. Kakashi stayed at the clearing. It looked like he was evaluating our stealth skills until he pulled out the new Icha Icha Paradise out of his weapon pouch. I was excited. Screw my earlier plan. The new mission is to retrieve the new Icha Icha Paradise. A new plan formed itself in my mind. I can't believe I have to resort to the technique of that psychopath but I have no choice. I do it in the name of art! Good I still have some cheese this should be enough._

Naruto came out of the shrubs and attacked with some Shuriken. Kakashi simply caught them without looking from his book. Naruto came running and started with a swift kick… to his groin. The Jounin of course sensed the danger and jumped back. Distracted by that disturbing try to end the Hatake clan he didn't notice that the Shuriken were deforming but he did notice Naruto making a ram seal.

"**Kurejutsu: Kure-shuriken stage one KAI!**"

The shuriken exploded into a minor explosion enough to get Kakashi some nasty burns. This wasn't the intention of the artist the reaction of the Jounin was. Naruto hoped Kakashi would throw the precious Icha Icha Paradise up into the air to protect it. He was glad that his prediction of Kakashi's character and action were correct. Someone who could appreciate Icha Icha would do anything to protect it with its life. In the scrubs another Naruto waited till the other had the Icha Icha in his hands. He was waiting to complete the last seal for the Kawarami no Jutsu. He also prepared a fake Icha Icha Paradise so his sensei wouldn't suspect anything. The moment in which Kakashi would throw his book into the air and close his eye to bear the pain of the explosion came. Naruto got the book and the plan was a success.

"**Kawarami no Jutsu**!"

The Naruto in the bush was exchanged with the one at the front. The operation was a success.

_Now to see how the second plan will work out.__ Kukukukuku my art got me the book now to show him something for the test. Showing him some skills to let him pass won't hurt. Let's see if you can handle this accursed technique I found in the scrolls. Hmmm, I better leave a Kage Bunshin here and do a runner. Don't wanna be disturbed during my artistic hobby._

"_**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**_"

**Kakashi's PoV**

_Damn that brat just made me__ loose time with my Icha Icha! He also hurt my fingers. It will be a pain to turn the pages now! There he is in front of me with… my Icha Icha! THAT BASTARD IS AFTER IT!_

"_Haaaaah! __**Raikiri**_

_Good I got him on the shoulder now to retrieve my…what? He is melting like…cheese? That can't be! Is that Sensei's…_

"Chi-zu Bunshin. Now I'll show. Art is EXPLOSION! **Bunshin Daibakuha!**" (Cheese Clone and Clone Great Explosion)

_Damn__ this will be a close call._

"**Doton: Shinjuu Zanshuu no Jutsu**!" (Earth style: Inner Deception Skill)

_I could without any big wounds but I got a lot of scratches now. It would have been much worse if my hand sealing would be__ any slower. Where did he learn those two techniques? They are both listed in the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing because they were made by two of the most dangerous missing-nin in history Uchiha Itachi and my sensei. He used Ch-zu Bunshin in the 3__rd__ ninja war. Not many people know it but it wasn't only Hiraishin but the combination of both of these techniques that gave him the nickname Konoha no Kiroi Senko! The yellow of the cheese was the reason why Hiraishin was yellow not the hair color. No time to go down memory lane. I have to find that brat to get my precious back. I can still test the others later. This is now personal. I can't believe I thought I could like that brat. _

Sakura would later in her life deny any knowledge of the copy-nin. If asked who her teacher was she would say: "I learnt everything on the streets. Times were much harder back then."

**End of Kakashi's PoV**

* * *

**Sakura's PoV**

_Shannaro! Is that really Naruto-sempai? I know after he used the double layered Genjutsu on me I shouldn't underestimate__ him but this is insane! Kakashi-sensei pieced him with an assassination technique but he turns out to be a cheese Bunshin. I didn't know something like that was possible._

_**Shannaro! That Naruto is psychopath with nice man curves! Older men are the real deal!**_

_Shut up! I won't listen to you anymore. You made me end my friendship with Ino__. You suck at giving advice. Ah there comes Sasuke-kun. Shannaro, how am I supposed to keep up with those two? Katon: Gokakyuu no Jutsu and Katon: Housenka no Jutsu. Did I miss a class or something? Where have those two got those sweet moves? Are they training the boys better than the girls? Iruka-sensei said something about problems with the education of the Kunoichi, right? Is that what he meant?_

_Oh my god! Kakashi-sensei__ just bitch slapped my Sasuke-kun! Shannaro, I'm going to show him whose boss in the ring!_

With that last thought she went into the battle to save the damsel in distress also known as Sasuke. Later the so called damsel would change the story to save his face in front of the other clans.

**Sakura's PoV end**

* * *

**Sasuke's PoV**

_No way could that Dobe be that strong. Was he hiding his strength all the time to graduate with me? I don't know. I better concentrate on getting a bell. Hmm, Kakashi-sensei comes out of the__ earth. I need to learn that Jutsu to use it against __**him**__. If only I had the Sharingan activated yet. Itachi already had it when he was eight but I don't show any signs of developing it yet. Damn I can't think but somehow this must be Itachi's fault!_

_I will think about that later. Naruto __weakened him as it seems so he shouldn't be able to dodge my attacks now. Making the attack an actual great ball that flies to him will take almost half of my chakra but it should be worth it if my plan works out._

"**Katon: Gokakyuu no Jutsu!**" (Fire style: Grand fireball)

_Okay if he dodges then it should be a jump up. This will make him open to my next attack. Up in the air he will have a hard time to dodge the small fire balls. Hopefully this will work. There will be Kunai hidden in those balls, if a few hit at all should he should be distracted enough to not notice the last one which will get me a bell. He will think I try to kill him but instead I'm out for the bell. Perfect he is up in the air._

"**Katon: Housenka no Jutsu! " (**Fire style: Mythical fire flower)

_Can't be he poofed out of existence. Is it Kawarami? No there is no log or anything else that is normally left when someone uses that Jutsu. I have to go and investigate this. Perfect looks like he left a bell on the floor. Victory is mine._

"AHHHHHH! "

_Did__ he just bitch slapped me? What's up with that Jounin? Seems like Sakura came out of hiding. She looks like she is for a kill. Good I can use her to fulfill my ambition._

Later the fight was described by Kakashi Hatake as the 4th ninja war. A ninja has to fight for his believes was the main argument of his to justify his actions back then. A Kunoichi later said he thought for his precious and those gained true strength.

**Sasuke's PoV end**

* * *

**In a clearing a few kilometers away from the big battle**

Giggling was heard through out the clearing. There were several blonds reading an orange book. Everyone was reading a different chapter.

_Jiraiya-danna is indeed a genius__. I dunno why they think Orochimaru is the greatest of the Sannin. Well, okay he sacrificed his life to protect the village but this is much better work of art. I'm the living art of Yondaime-sama but Icha Icha paradise has the explosive kind of beauty I appreciate so much._

_Hmm, let's see I dedicated the Hokage monument Sasori-danna. According to him art has to live as long as possible. The color will never get of the moment once it was applied. I dedicated most of my Jutsus to Deidara-danna. I still need to show Jiraiya-danna a form of worship…ah I know my drawings will be a nice addition to the Icha Icha series. I will ask the publisher of the Icha Icha series to release my drawings. Jiraiya-danna has probably to agree with it so this will be my chance to contact him. Yes, art conquers all!_

The real Naruto got hearts for eyes on the thought of meeting one of his idols. When he and his Bunshin finished with the book. He got ready to start his ninja carrier. A plan was formed quickly in his mind. Ninja don't fight fair to accomplish their goals. Use their precious against them.

_Kukukukuku, th__is is a much better plan than the one I made before I knew of his addiction. Sadly I won't need my art for this but I will be a step farther on the road of the artist._

In his late 40s Naruto claimed to have defeated his sensei in the Genin exam with Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Edo Tensei (Summoning technique: Impure World Resurrection) to get rid of the Evil sensei who tried to destroy Konoha in a combined effort with Suna- and Otogakure.

**With one hour left:**** clearing with the other 3 teammates **

Naruto arrived on the scene to see a beaten up Sasuke and Sakura. Kakashi seemed to have white foam where his mouth should be. It is hard to say since he still has the mask on. He seems to have become feral like an Inuzuka.

"**You! Where is my precious**?" Came the booming voice of the sensei.

"Hehe, Kakashi-sensei I make you a deal. Since I'm just a Bunshin I will give you your precious back and you in exchange will let us three pass." He shows him the Icha Icha Paradise.

"**And why wouldn't I just take it? I'm faster than you**."

"Oh, quite simple. If you try that the explosive notes I put in the book will activate. I don't think you are fast enough to get out 30 notes."

"…Okay you won. All three of you pass." The sensei seemed to have regained his human form.

"But you guys didn't pass because you threatened my precious but…"

"Because of teamwork, right?"

"You knew the answer and haven't told us? Dobe if I get my hands on you really will become a DEADlast."

N-A-R-U-T-O-S-E-M-P-A-I!

_Those two would look more frightening if they weren't half dead. Better make an escape._

"Oh, I forgot to turn off my stove I better go home and turn it off or something may happen to my apartment. See ya!" Naruto poofed away.

"What a coincidence me too. I got to go. See you guys tomorrow for some missions." Kakashi gave his trademark eye smile and poofed away as well.

Silence dominated the training field. Both were too shocked. People could have sworn on this day that they have heard two voices scream:

"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK HOME IN THIS CONDITION!"

Lucky for them a convenient plot device a la J.K. Rowling poofed into existence. Densetsu no Sannin Tsunade just crossed the clearing in order to escape her debt collectors. Since she felt pity for those two poor creatures she healed them free of charge.

"Oh that poor pink bunny and that poor emo-panda are badly hurt. I'll heal you guys." Gives a motherly smile.

"I'm not an emo-panda/pink bunny!"

**End of chapter one**

* * *

**AN: Yeah, who would have thought I would write another story even though I'm as lazy as Shikamaru and Shikato put together.**** Puh, I wrote at this for 12 hours in a row. Wow, the muse real did kiss me I guess. Well, if you guys have time and like Comedy then watch out for Captain Shinji (Evangelion). It's my first fic. Don't expect too much of it. Also look out for Oyabun Shinji which is a serious fic. I know I should stop with the advertisement.**

**Anyway don't expect any fast updates just because I pulled of this fic all of the sudden. I am and always will be lazy. I will end all my work in due time. Which means somewhere between now and 2040. FATE will decide when I will release a new chapter of this story.**

**But if you try to blackmail me with lots of reviews then maybe FATE will smile upon you guys and a new installment is suddenly going to show up out of nowhere. **

**P.S. If you are wondering why there are so much **_**italic**_** then I have to tell you it's not my fault that people think a lot.**

**10****th**** August 2007**

**Update 31****st**** March 2008**

**I edited the paragraphs. It should be easier to read now and I hope for fanfiction's sake, that there will be breaks.**


	2. Don't mess with Kyuubi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I lost it ****on the road of life.**

With his explosive art Deidara was one of the strongest members of the Akatsuki.

What if our favorite blond took an interest to art? NaruxFemHaku

The paragraphs could be messed up because of this website.

**Warning this story hasn't seen a beta, it may cause your eyes to bleed because of grammar errors and plot holes.**** Any volunteers are appreciated. For contact look at my profile.**

**AN: **** To motivate you guys into clicking the review button I will from now on execute one cute little kitten in a terrorist video for each hour I don't get a review. **

**Sorry for the late update, but... eh I didn't feel like doing anything but chilling at home. **

**Formatting will probably be mussed up again. Blame the site for that. **

**Also I need someone to beta read my story. That black asshole didn't even finished correcting the first chapter. **

**Ao-chan I'm speaking of you. (For the others. Ao-chan is play on ****HIS**** real name not his screen name.**

**I have to thank the people who thought this was good enough to be put it in their favorite, C2 or alert list and many thanks to the reviewers. **

**27 reviews**

**2.585 hits**

**12 C2s**

**21 favourites**

**49 alerts**

_**Art of Explosion**_

**Chapter two:**** Don't mess with Kyuubi **

_Kukukukuku my artistic mind shall prevail.__ Today is the official ninja registration in which the Hokage himself has to be present. It is mandatory to get yourself photographed to get a license. I of course used this occasion to bind this into my art. I applied some make-up Kabuki actors use in their divine acts. Their art warms my heart every time I see it. _

_I wonder if Kakashi has to take his mask off when he has to get his yearly picture update. _

"…Get another picture." The Hokage sighed at the blonde's antics.

"What? Why is that? This is a true piece of art! Head Secretary of State I won't change my mind on this subject."

"Sigh… Naruto stop calling me that I'm the head of the military force. It's not like I only do …paper work and make Coffee?"

_Looks like he got it. Finally he understands that he is just a secretary. I've never seen him doing anything but Paperwork and making coffee. Years of dedication and Jutsu mastery hasn't done him any good if he is trapped 24/7 in his office. As an artist I…_

Naruto's ramblings and the Hokage's sorrow after the discovery that he wasted most of his life in an office were interrupted by a young boy with an incredible long blue scarf. The boy seemed to be ready for an attack. His shuriken were a clear indicator.

"Today you are going to hand over your position to me Konohamaru-sa...…"

_The boy…__did he just slipped on his own scarf? That thing is way too long anyway. Is he trying to compensate for the lack of P…damn I starting to sound like Sai. I should stop hanging around with him. _

"Ah, you tripped me!"

Before Naruto could reply another figure made his entrance. Naruto recognized him as the guy who got accused to be a child molester. Courtesy of him after all how could he have known he was the grandson's private tutor? The teacher started to glare at him with a cold glare he was used to by the villagers. Better do something about that.

"Don't I know you from somewhere and what's up with that weird gaze of yours? Hmm, now I remember. You are that child molester! I better zip up my jacket after all look at me funny."

The photographer and the other people tried to suppress their laughter. Ebisu twitched at the accusation especially after Naruto zipped up his jacket and held himself in a protective hug.

Normally his jacket is open to give him easy access to his clay and other ninja tools. The orange jumpsuit looks truly hideous when the jacket is zipped up but you have to make sacrifices if you don't want to get raped.

"Ji-san I'm afraid that I can't stay here because I fear for my… health. See you around I have a meeting with my team."

Naruto jumped out of the window so he could avoid Ebisu. Little did the others notice that Konohamaru was impressed by the boy's attitude. He openly disrespected his grandfather, accused Ebisu of a crime that he was spoken free off and he dared to ignore himself the Hokage Grandson. Konohamaru used the distraction offered by Naruto to make an escape.

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**Konohamaru's PoV **

_Finding__ him again was not a problem me Konohamaru-sama! The orange jumpsuit was no help at all it just made it…harder yeah! Shit he is turning around better hide myself with the blanket that has the fence's muster. Hehehehe I'm such a genius. Wait why is the fence muster on my side of the blanket…shit! Maybe he won't notice. Ouch, he hit me with something. _

PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH………………………………

_???What kind of sound is that? Better take a small peek. Oh my god, it's a bomb! _

Konohamaru came out of hiding just in time to see the bomb go high up in the sky like a firework and explode in bright orange face which looked like Naruto. It had also a speaking bubble saying: "Tricked ya, brat!"

"You…you tricked me!" Konohamaru stretched his finger out and pointed it accusingly at Naruto.

Naruto totally ignored him and only said one word. "**Tamaiya**"! _(traditional saying when firework goes off)_ After that he proceeded to go away.

"Hey wait! Stop ignoring me!"

"Fine, what do you want? I don't have much time my team is waiting." Actually Naruto never planned on being punctual but he wanted to talk his way out of this and invest his time on his art instead.

"I want you to train me. Ji-san seems to respect you enough not to discipline you for your actions even though you are only a Genin. I want to be strong."

"Eh, you don't look artistic enough to be my apprentice. Not interested"

_Damn! I can't let him get away like this. What should I do? Not artistic enough? What has that do with becoming stronger? All they do is drawing naked people. It's like those books Ji-san reads…now I got it! A ninja must be __perspective Iruka-sensei says. He wants me to show that I'm artistic so I have to show him. _

"Icha Icha paradise is a great book."

Naruto stops walking. He seems to react positively. His whole body is swinging like a clock.

_Hehehehe my plan seems to work. Soon I will surpass you Ji-san. Now to the death blow. _

"I could get you Ji-san's whole collection."

_Bingo! Victory is mine. _

"Okay brat it seems like I have misjudged you. You show the passion of a true artist!"

_Are his eyes burning with fire? Can it be? Is he like that guy in the green spandex? Impossible! If he is in anyway like that psychopath then I won't be able to walk for days! _

"Okay, tell me where he hides his books then I will give you two things which will enhance your skills and make you a true artist."

I guess he is running out of time. He said he had a meeting. This artist speech must be something like the youth speech of the spandex guy. I told him where to find the books. He nodded a few times and asked me to stretch out my arm. He started to draw weird sign on my arm with his blood. Of course I knew this must have been seals. Ji-san was really good with those my private teacher said. He started to make hand seals and shouted out:

**Fuuinjutsu: ****Omori Yotogi! ** _(Sealing technique: Weight Watcher!)_

_What the hell! I can't move my body. __My fingers seem to weight a ton. I'm not able to move my arms like this._

"An artist needs to steel his body in order to achieve true beauty. I will also give you this. This is _Sasori_-danna's book_ '_The way of the puppeteer'. I couldn't do much with it but I think you will have more success."

Naruto put the book into Konohamaru's pocket and disappeared in a poof.

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_Looks like this wasn't a total waste of my time. I've shown a kid the beauty of art and I'm going to get the whole collection of Icha Icha paradise! I couldn't get them all since the series goes back to a time before I was born. The old man should be still stuck at the registration._

_I could send out a few birds but they can't carry all the books what to do? A Kage Bunshin should be able to transport them in a bag but he can't go through the floors. Security is still wary of me stealing the scroll… It could try to jump through the window but the Hokage office is at the top of the building. No ninja can jump that high and the bang of one of my birds would alarm the security. Climbing the tower with my chakra is not an option either. Applying the chakra control exercise on air is hopeless. No ninja has that kind of control not even Tsunade herself. _

…_What to do? Neither a Bunshin nor a bird can come in… I got it! Icarus and Daedalus used waxed wings to fly over the ocean. I should be able to create a pair with my mouths. This is the same scenario if I fly to high the wax melts to low and the people will get a got view of me and think someone is attacking. Luckily I can test that in the forest with the Bunshin. _

And he did test it. With newly bought wax in his arsenal and just 20 minutes of trying he got it right. In Konoha the crime he committed was never revealed. The Hokage couldn't notify the police or his reputation as Hokage would have been ruined.

"NARUTO! I WILL GET MY BOOKS BACK AND IF IT IS THE LAST THING I WILL DO!"

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**On the way to the meeting **

"Giggle! I could have sworn someone called me. Mah, probably just imagining things."

After a while he came to the meeting place… two hours after the scheduled time.

"Yo, kohai-tachi. Sorry, I'm late I had to help a little chibi to find his way of the artist."

"LIAR!" Came the voice of Sasuke and Sakura. They also seemed to have mastered the Biggu Hitsu no Jutsu (Big Head Technique) of Iruka.

…_For that alone I'm going to show up an extra two hours later than usual the next time we get a mission. _

"Yo, sorry I'm late. I had to help a little chibi to find his way of the artist."

"LIAR! NARUTO-SEMPAI ALREADY USED THAT!" This time they were loud enough to scare the birds away.

_That's weird. Sasuke is the only one who has never called Naruto, sempai. Must have been a slip up. He is too proud to be submissive in any way. I think he never addressed the Hokage with sama either. Actually he never said his title at all. _

"Anyway, I will show you how the whole mission placing works follow me." _This time I actually came because someone stole Hokage-sama's Icha Icha paradise collection. Since I would have been late for real I should come especially late the next time the meets. _

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**Room of the mission placing **

_This is quite a surprise. The one who was ordered to do the mission placing was non other then my fellow artist. I met him a year or so after the Hokage gave me the book that changed my life. He also helps me in anatomy to make my pictures more realistic. Sadly he specialized himself in the beauty of men. _

"Yo Sai, it's been awhile hasn't it?"

"Hello Whiskers. It sure has. Who are your friends?"

"Naruto-sempai who is this and what's up with that nickname?" The pink wonder couldn't help herself. Naruto doesn't have any kind of whisker marks or alike. Little did she know that Naruto hides them under make up. They were too childish for his taste. Only chance to see them is when you are going to the hot springs with him.

"Mah, he likes to give people weird nicknames. Anyway, Sai these are Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha and Kakashi you already know. Guys this is Sai. He is a fellow artist and specializes on painting. He is also a Chunin."

"Hmm, looks like all your teammates have no penis. I guess the thing that got the Uchiha clan didn't spare your penis, you gutless homo."

Kakashi hold his two charges in a lock when they were about to kill Sai.

"Mah mah, you two should refrain yourself from killing a superior. Also there is no need to get mad at him. He always says stuff like this."

Fact is when Kakashi met him the first time he himself tried to use Raikiri on him. The Hokage himself had to hold him back. At that time he cut through one of Sai's pictures showing a lightning. From then on the next stage of Chidori was renamed Raikiri.

Sakura was deep in thoughts. **Shannaro! Sai has the hottest ABS ever! Forget Sasuke and Naruto! **

_Didn't I tell you yesterday to shut the fuck up! I'll be faithful to my Sasuke-kun plus that guy has a creepy smile._

"Let's see your first mission will be a C-rank mission. Weird it's signed by the Hokage himself. He must be confident in you guys. Tazuna-san come out, please."

"These kids are supposed to protect me? They look weak especially the one with…"

Before Tazuna could finish his sentence the Hokage came out to interrupt.

"Tazuna-kun don't be fooled by there looks. They are trained killers and will protect you with their lives. I asked for them because they are the strongest Genin team in Konoha."

The Hokage's thoughts were a little bit different though.

_Hehehehe __with Naruto out of the village I will have enough time to retrieve my collection. A C-rank mission shouldn't be a problem for them. If Kakashi's report is true then both Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun should be able to defend themselves. They both have shown good strategies plus Sakura and Sasuke survived about two hours of Kakashi's rage. They have seen death and shouldn't freeze up in a real combat situation. _

"I'm still not convinced. Are you plotting something old man?" This of course came from Naruto. No one else would dare to talk back to their leader.

"Nonsense. All the cool kids do C-rank mission, you know. Don't you want to be one of them? "

"Dobe don't mess up our chance to get stronger." _I need to do high ranking mission as fast as possible to get closer to my ambition...also I AM COOL! _

"I guess our leader wouldn't send us out into a potential dangerous situation to retrieve his book collection or something like that."

All of them had question mark over their head except for the Hokage who was sweating.

"Okay team, let's do it. We're going to meet at the east gate in two hours. Prepare yourself for a longer trip. Dismissed"

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**4 hours later at the east gate **

"...Where the hell are those two?" Tazuna was pissed beyond believe. You would think ninja would be punctual.

As if answering his call Kakashi arrived with a poof of smoke and Naruto seemed to have fallen from the sky.

"Yo, sorry for being late." Was the simultaneous reply of the chronically late duo.

"LIAR. YOU TWO AREN'T SORRY AT ALL!" Once again both students couldn't help themselves but to point out the obvious.

Both student and teacher shrugged their shoulders and took out their copies of Icha Icha paradise to prepare for the long journey. After a little argument with the two less understanding students; Team 7 starts began to walk on the main road to Wave country. The silent walk would have continued if Sakura wouldn't have grown bored and asked questions.

"Sakura, you are asking too many questions. People in our business don't like people who are talkative like you. Do you want to end up like those tattletales in bad Yakuza movies? "

The pink haired Kunoichi paled at that thought and stopped molesting her fellow travelers. Kakashi was satisfied with the results and went back on reading his favourite book.

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**At a small lake **

_Yeesh, how pointless is that? First we get attacked by the Demon Brothers and then some wanna be Demon of the Mist attacks us. I knew quitting the mission was the right choice but that stupid emo and his fangirl had to vote for continuing the mission. One of these days I'm going to pay them back for their foolishness! I'll ask Itachi if I ever meet him again. Letting the whole Uchiha clan disappear and fake its genocide was ingenious. Too bad I don't have the Mangekyou Sharingan... _

_**Kit. You should think about revenge later. That guy got your sensei trapped in a giant water ball and created a Mizu Bunshin to finish you guys off. I've seen the handseals for Mizu Bunshin through your eyes. Follow my instructions and make about 1.000. **_

While Kakashi was shouting to his students to leave him behind and rescue Tazuna and themselves; Naruto prepares himself to use the Jutsu. He goes through the handseals _Ram_, _Tora _and _Hebi_.

The small lake seems to lose all the water as the Naruto's **Mizu Bunshin**_(Water clone)_ form themselves. This surprised everyone even Zabuza.

"Looks like you won't be able to beat so many of us especially if you don't have any water for your Jutsus." Came the voice of the Bunshins.

"I'm more than enough for 1.000 weaklings like you.!" Zabuza's **Mizu Bunshin** attacked one of Naruto's Bunshin just to get caught into an explosion when it destroyed the clone.

"Have I mentioned my motto already to you? ART IS EXPLOSION! Kukukukuku..."

_**Oh, the rush, how I missed that feeling to utterly smash my opponents. To fell those emotions through a medium is much more satisfying than doing it yourself! **_

While both Naruto and Kyuubi were on a high two senbon needles punctured Zabuza's neck causing him to dispel the **Suirou no Jutsu** and free Kakashi much to the displeasure of the Jinchuuriki and the demon. The cause of all this was an Oi-nin_(Hunter-nin)_ of Kirigakure. This person was without a doubt a woman in Naruto's age class. She wore the typical ANBU mask, a green stripped pullover, brown stripped trousers and getas_(traditional Japanese sandals)_.

_Twitch The whole village of Kiri seems to have no taste in clothing. Judging by the clothes of Zabuza and the Oi-nin. I mean stripped clothes... just no, totally no! _

_**Look who is talking Mr. Bright Orange Jumpsuit. **_

_What's that supposed to mean! Your fur is orange, too. At lest I keep my jacket open to show my black shirt and the upper half of my jacket is black as well. _

_**How dare you to belittle a woman's fur! You insolent brat! I'll get you for this when you sleep. BUWHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA! **_

_Woman? What the hell? You mean you are... _

"Naruto-sempai. Wake up and dispel your Bunshins. The Oi-nin is already gone for a while. What's up with you, spacing out like that."

"**Kai**. Eh? I missed her departure of the Oi-nin! God damn it all! Sasuke carry Kakashi-sensei!"

"Why should I do that, Dobe. He looks fine to..." While he said that he saw Kakashi laying face down on the lake...and he wasn't moving at all.

"OH, NO!" Both Sakura and Sasuke yelled and ran as fast as they could to save their sensei.

Coming down form all those shocking events Tazuna could get himself to ask a question to the weird blond.

"Are those two always like that?"

"Naw, sometimes they behave silly."

"..."

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**Tazuna's house...more like Tazuna's shack **

At Tazuna's they were able to recuperate and get their sensei off their backs...literally. For Naruto this was heaven since he was able to meet Tazuna's daughter, Tsunami. The first thing he did was to draw a portrait of her. Different then most artists he doesn't need her to constantly sit in front of him to draw her. His memory was more then enough. Naruto never forgets anyone with a c-cup!

The day was long and they went to sleep. For our hero sleep wasn't as pleasant as it was for the other since Kyuubi made her threat true and plagued his dreams.

_**BUWHAHAHAHA! I told you I would make you suffer for your insolence. For the next 72 hours you are going to be my slave and you won't be allowed to cum! **_

_She appeared in front of him. Her fiery red hair was tied in nine pigtails. Her ears were pointed and those demonic red eyes were unforgettable. They were red and had a predatory gaze. Her body was perfect. No moles or scars just delicate tanned skin in the form of an hourglass. The breast were firm and perky as far as I was able to tell without touching them. She wore a skimpy leather outfit like dominas do. When I noticed that I knew I was screwed and I don't mean in the good way. Standing before me was a horny vixen with a 12 year forced celibate who has thousand of years of experience which she needed to release. Normally it wouldn't be such a problem but she made me unable to release which means this will be pure torture. And to top this all I was tied up on a chair totally helpless. _

"He-he-hey,how about we just cuddle, ne Kyuu-chan?"

_All she did was giving me a seductive smile. _

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**Morning of the second day **

_First thing I did in the morning was to run to the toilette and relieve myself in more than one way. Note to myself never piss off Kyuu-chan. Second note draw a picture of her. Never though I would have such a hot demon inside me. _

_**Ahahaha, I knew Naruto-kun, deep inside you, you love me. As long as I'm in your mind this still counts as masturbation. **_

"_Sorry Kyuu-chan, but I will have to stop to sate your lust as soon as I get a girlfriend." _

Only silence greeted him. This could ever mean she accepts or she does whatever the fuck she wants since she is the Kyuubi she can do anything.

When he got down to breakfast he was greeted by an eerie atmosphere as if someone retold the story of a tragic hero who died for his. Naruto didn't think anything of it and sat down happily eating.

"Naruto, like I already explained the others. The Oi-nin and Zabuza probably worked together and are probably planing their next attack in seven days. I'm planning on training you guys to better defend yourselves against them. I know you surprised them by the mass of Mizu Bunshin you created but I Think they will find a way around your strategy you used the last time."

"I see. Hope I see the hot Oi-nin again. I defiantly have to draw her:"

"Dobe/Naruto-sempai/Naruto you totally missed the point!"

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Both Sakura and Sasuke were stuck doing something called the tree walking exercise. Naruto already proved to them he mastered the exercise when he was hanging down a tree. When Sasuke demanded how Naruto knew about this exercise he simply replied with that he got a booklet which had all the chakra exercises explained since he was a child.

While they were occupied with training Naruto and Kakashi had time to read in their favourite novels. Kakashi had to explain why he was so exhausted to Naruto because the concept of chakra exhaustion is new to him. He has too much chakra and control to suffer that effect. Kakashi also explained that if he used the copying and the hypnotic effect of the Sharingan he would be as bad off as Zabuza. Luckily for him it didn't come so far.

The blond himself got had nothing to do besides hanging around the house while Kakashi protects Tazuna.

On the second last day the Jinchuuriki took a nap in the forest, so he got draw the forest in the morning.

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**Clearing in the forest Haku's PoV **

_When I arrived at the clearing to collect some herbs to speed up Zabuza's recovery I met him once again. The blond shinobi who created 1.000 Mizu Bunshin to defeat Zabuza-sama. He is still wearing the black and orange jumpsuit with an open Jacket which shows his black shirt he is wearing. I don't know much about him or his abilities but I'm confident in finding out his secrets. This time he won't beat us! I wonder what he is drawing. _

"Hello, there." I greeted him.

_He took off his gaze from his painting book to inspect me. I don't want to sound arrogant but I look like a delicate snow angel. It's no surprise that his gaze wanders of from my to my chest then...his gaze stays at my chest...doesn't leave them...okay now it's ENOUGH! THAT DAMN PERVERT BEAT MY MASTER!!?? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! _

"Hello."

_I tried to remain cool. Slowly we got into a conversation. Before I noticed it I talked about how I killed my parents, because of the bloodline war in Mizu no kuni (country of water) and he told me he was born as an orphan in Konoha . _

_When I left I noticed my mistake. He...he tricked me! That little bastard got all the information about me but I only got shitty stuff like childhood memories! _

"YOU GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKER! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

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**Naruto **

_Achoo! Hmm, someone must think of me. Must me some hot chick who wants me to create sculpture of her! I wonder what was up with Haku-chan. I just asked her here and there some questions and she starts to blabber about her horrible past...come to think of it her breasts matches the breasts of the Oi-nin...naw must be a coincidence. No Kunoichi would spill her beans like that...except for Sakura. _

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**Bridge at the last day **

_We were greeted by the shout of __**Kirigakure no Jutsu**__. The workers already fled when they noticed the man with a huge Zanbato. Oh, and the Oi-nin is there as well. Hmm, I guess living my two Kage Bunshin was a waste. Well, they can still ogle Tsunami for me Kukukukuku. At least Zabuza has gained some kind of fashion sense during his recovery. Now he wears black pants and a black muscle shirt. Ah, what the hell? Both Sasuke and Kakashi are engaging the enemy. They should know the mist will be a big problem for them both. _

"**Hijutsu: Sensatsu Suishou!**"(Secret Technique: Flying Water Needles)

_That...that voice is that Haku-chan after all? I guess I can let Tazuna and Sakura fend for themselves. The enemy doesn't seem to care much about Tazuna. The Oi-nin could easily overpower Sasuke and kill Tazuna while Kakashi is distracted by Zabuza._

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**Sasuke's PoV **

_Heh, I'm so cool holding off an Oi-nin like this. Nothing could possibly go wrong... _

"**Hijutsu: Makyou Hyoushou!**_ ( Secret Technique: Demonic Ice Mirrors)" _

_Damn it, why does that always happen to me? First Itachi then Naruto and now this. Someone must hate me. It doesn't matter. Ice can't resist the fire Jutsus of the Uchiha. _

"Hn, your ice dome is no match for this **Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!** _(Fire style: Grand fireball)_"

"It's no use, Uchiha-san. These Mirrors are chakra infused. This is the first part of my bloodline. Now watch the second part. The power to break the 4th wall! **Fast forward!**"

_Everything became a blur and my body seemed to move on its own. Luckily everything was normal again...BUT _

"_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE DOME. DOBE AND WHY THE HELL AM I PIERCED WITH SENBON WHILE YOU ARE UNHARMED!?" _

"Hey, it's not my fault you fail at life."_ Was the response of the blond. Little did I know he was aware of all powers this woman possessed._

"Hah, I'll get your friend for tricking me the last time!" _The ice user prepared herself to attack us. _

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**Back to the normal view **

"I can't let you win even though your art is strong. I'll show you the art of improvising! **Uchiha Itachi Ryuu: Sasuke Kyanon Tama!** _(Uchiha Itachi style: Sasuke canon ball)_"

Back in the academy when Itachi and Naruto were in the same year he taught him about one of his ideas for a Taijutsu move. He was actually joking about it, but Naruto took it for real since Itachi liked to play pranks on Sasuke even though said brother was an infant.

_Kukukukuku, seems like Itachi really is a genius. Looks like Haku-chan can't dodge or attack the mass of Sasuke's body. Well, that was an easy fight... now Back to my favourite art. _

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**With Zabuza and Kakashi after the little fast forward of Haku**

"...You are defenseless in the mist. I doubt your student can repeat his action again with so much water surrounding us and don't think I forgot about that girl with the wide forehead I know she is from Hitaigakure _(Hidden forehead village)_."

"Actually, she is just a student of mine with a huge forehead. Sasuke has a wide forehead as well, but he has the common sense to hide it behind his forehead-protector."

"...Guess I looked to much behind the underneath. No matter I... arrgh...!"

Zabuza got attacked by ninja dogs which restraint his movements with their fangs. This gave Kakashi enough time to charge his ultimate Jutsu. He puts his hands in the Tora handseal which are surrounded by fire.

"Now Zabuza this is going to burn a little bit. **Fingaban** _(finger bang)_"

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**Back with Naruto **

He made a lot of different sculptures with his Kekkei Genkai. One was of himself which he developed handseals for. He named it Kure Bunshin. It took a bit longer to create than Kage Bunshin but they had lower chakra cost thanks to Kyuubi being the main supplier for his bloodline and they were harder to destroy by any element any people would get stuck in if they used Taijutsu.

"YEEEEEOOOOW!"

_What the hell was that. Sounded like Zabuza but with a much higher voice comparable with Sakura's. It's certainly not her. I knocked her out when she started fussing around about her Sasuke-kun. Damn, next time I give her a chop on her neck instead of a punch on her forehead. My fist still hurts. _

**Tock Tock **

_The Mist disappeared slowly to reveal a midget with sunglasses in a business suit. My life is really weird at times. Behind him were a lot of mercenaries. They don't like much especially if I consider all the sculptures I made during my leisure. Kakashi doesn't seem to winded at all. Guess both him and Zabuza were trash talking most of the time even though there was a big time skip. _

"Well well well, I have to thank you for disposing Zabuza and his little bitch. She will pay for what she did to my... **BOOM** what the hell are you doing?!"

_Kakashi was making handseals during his little speech while I dispatched some of my sculptures to explode in the ranks of the mercenaries. _

"**Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu**_ (Water Release: Water Dragon Blast Technique)" _

Some of the stronger enemies survived the pressure of the water dragon and swam away when they noticed how strong Kakashi alone was. The weaker ones like the one in the business suit died. That man was Gato as an investigation by team seven revealed later. Haku also confirmed it, but the only thing that mattered to Naruto was the information he got when the Kage Bunshin he left at Tazuna's dispelled.

"WHAT! TSUNAMI-SAN IS A MILF?!"

**End of chapter two **

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**AN: ...Yeah, it took longer than I expected because inspiration didn't hit me at all. The chapter itself didn't come out right in my opinion. I planned to show the brother Jutsu of the Oiroke no Jutsu but it didn't work out as i's liked. Hope guys still enjoyed the chapter. **

**Next time: Naruto the Tokubetsu Jounin?! **

**7****th**** January 2008**


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